if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I love you. Go after that dick
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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