Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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