yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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