There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
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