1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
NoShamevember. You game?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize