He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
