:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just want to make out with him forever
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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