I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
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I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
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No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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