And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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