Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
