yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
