Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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