Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
