when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
