It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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