Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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