fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
