If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
