apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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