Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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