I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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