You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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