how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
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Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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