I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We are all done wearing pants today
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
