The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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