I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
