My first STD was from a foam party
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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