that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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