During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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