Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
