I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
