Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
