remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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