guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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