You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
