She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
