You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Randomize
