trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
