I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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