Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
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I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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