did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
