I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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