I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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