I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
