Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
