You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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