Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
