Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
