Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish i was in the wii world.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
