thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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