You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize