I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
did i walk over a car last night?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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