I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
