Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My breasts were aching with rage.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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