Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
