you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
