Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
