Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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