why didn't you poke me back
they need to just BURY HIM!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
