Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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