That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
