I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
