you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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