i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
