I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
